Wednesday 28 September 2011

Spring cleaned Spirit



I've always been an ardent enthusiast for spring cleaning. Blame it on my perfectly perfectionist mother about whom her friends joke that she dusts the store room itself. Or you could say my eyes feast on the radiance and clarity that surface as a consequence of the process. But if i really prod myself, it's the rediscovery of things which had gone amiss from my conscious memory, lying in an ignored crevice and re-affiliation with those which i had lost my touch with - that's what drives me towards this activity.
In a strangely unprepared manner, last week, i found myself spring cleaning again. Not my cupboards or old boxes or chestnut drawers; but myself. A company-organized yoga class i'd joined had Catharsis as one of its sessions. Catharsis, a Greek word, literally translates to "cleansing" or "purging". In a broader, more contemporary and contextual sense it is understood to be "the discharge of affects connected to traumatic events that had previously been repressed by bringing these events back into consciousness and re-experiencing them" (American Psychological Association, 2007).

To put it to a kid, it's the process through which old, suppressed 'monsters' are brought back to the surface - so that they may be faced and hence overcome (i truly believe that the only way to defeat fear is to face it right in the eyes). The premise goes this way: we all exercise a certain control mechanism on ourselves, to acquire social acceptance (blend in with the crowd), almost all the time. The degree and forms of which could vary according to your upbringing, (social) culture, immediate circumstances, personal belief, etc. But the mechanism is never at rest. Apart from making enabling us to tolerate each other more easily, what this does is create a lot of suppressed emotions/thoughts/affects. Since these are not vented out, they twist and turn inside us and finally settle in our unconscious levels; where they act like the stagnant grime which does no good and only occupies space which could be taken up by something healthier and more useful.
Catharsis seeks to confuse or break this mechanism, using various techniques or ways. Once the sluice gates open, the suppressed waters burst forth with manic energy - uncontrollable, invincible. After the flood subsides, a most beautiful calm ensues. Your spirits re-breathes deeply and is re surged with fresh, vital energy. Some of the techniques used for Catharsis are:
- running/jumping/any other physical exertion
- screaming/shouting (primal shout)
- talking non-stop
- dancing
- journaling
- watching emotionally intense movies/acts/dramas (an example of Mass/Collective Catharsis)

The flood, that is the discharge that follows, is generally interpreted in the following ways:
1. Grief - crying/sobbing
2. Fear - trembling, cold perspiration
3. Anger - high pitch sounds, storming movements
4. Embarrassment - uninhibited laughter
5. Disgust - physical nausea
6. Physical fatigue - yawning, stretching
7. Guilt and shame - tears, sobbing, laughter

The realization for me was that many of us Catharsize ourselves in any of the aforementioned ways or otherwise; we just never named it. That makes it all the essential that we try and attempt it, regularly and as way to release the unfaced, the forgotten, the trapped. Spring clean yourself and fill up that space with verve, life and light.
Peace to all. Tonight's song is one to be enjoyed over the weekend, but i couldn't restrain from sharing it, so here it goes: "the lazy song" by Bruno Mars... :)

Sunday 18 September 2011

Lanka Love - 2

I buckled myself as the giant flying machine started searing the dull runway. it's one of my favorite parts of traveling by air. The surge fills me as the airplane's wheels scorch the ground and then in one swift, effortless moment, the resistance ends. I study the density of pinpoints below till the clouds engulf everything; including my mind which travels faster than the aircraft and reaches Sri Lanka before anyone else on board.


"Arre, it's another Chennai." - one of the most common refrains collected by me as i'd poked around about this new land i was about to visit. Not the one who is easily be bogged down, i maintained my rose tinted glasses. When my eyes took in the first morning light snuggling up the lonely sands of Bentota, i removed those glasses. For the place had put them too, to shame.






Bentota is a small, touristy town located right on the coast (trust me, you couldn't get closer) in the South-west part of Ravan's Land. I was housed in Taj Vivanta - a resort which i suspect would be submerged in  a few years from now, given it's extreme proximity to waters of the Indian ocean. 20 steps is all it took from my room to found yourself touching these waters. The staff exuded a natural sweetness, something i affirmed is an inherent feature of the people there, after interacting with non-hotel persons too. Their bodies spoke a humble, gentle language and simplicity in demeanor is a virtue they have chiseled to near perfection. Bare, curious eyes with a mixture of silent confidence yet practiced shyness followed us wherever we went. A slight glance at anyone invoked a warm smile - friendly, offering assistance, yet maintaining the distance that stood - a far cry from the pestering amiability that is commonly endured by tourists in our own country. And this as a place, relies majorly on Tourism for its livelihood.
The architecture was a wet, muted brightness designed to accommodate the local climate's moods. The ladies were mostly clad in a floral blouse coupled with a medium to long length skirt while the men were distributed between trousers & shirts or loose shirts & lungis. The business of life started early in the morn - earlier than most of us get up these days. Start early, close early and then spend the evening in a lullaby-like idleness till it melted into a starry night. Not that the rest of the day was sabotaged by haste or a race against time. Bentota ticks to a different clock.






After spending close to 4 days there, i'm convinced that an invisible dome protects this area from the cruel vagaries of the modern world. Consequently, it has its share of primitiveness but that's a forgettable loss for the joy of life that it enjoys. Bentota gave me two gifts, which i shall treasure for many years to come. One, it bestowed the second morning when i strolled along the rolling waves while the sun's fingers tickled and then entwined with them to produce a glimmering bluish liquid which seemed to understand me without any spoken words. The second, was a case of serendipity. I had to see the doctor to my wound redressed. He was engaged in something else and told me to wait for 15minutes. Feeling too lethargic to walk back to my room, i decided to take a stroll outside around the pool area. And quite suddenly, my eyes moved to the ocean and my feet took me to a discreet corner. My soul bathed in the bliss of beauty of the moment. Wave after wave of silvery shimmer crashed white into the dark, aged rock while the Moon, tiptoeing between the clouds shone creamily in the darkness around. Beyond the moon's halo and in the gaps between the clouds, i could spy the stars dancing in their own game. Life had found me, yet again. Thank you, Bentota. :]

Wednesday 14 September 2011

"Can you lend me some Ego, please?"



With Time on the X-axis and Schedule/Activities on the other, my trend line is creeping forward steadily and visibly starting to settle down into a less wavering, recurring pattern and pace. By the time my feet carry me out of the artificial human habitat, my brain's propensity to decide or think over things is cranky. And god forbid if i ask it to make a choice. The tantrum is enough to make me succumb to the most default option. Recently, i discovered that this phenomena has got a name too - 'Decision Fatigue'.

Wiki defines it as "the deteriorating quality of decisions made by an individual, after a long session of decision making." To understand it better, we need to link this to yet another psychological occurrence regarded as 'Ego Depletion' which is explained as the "idea that self control or willpower is an exhaustible resource that can be used up. When that energy is low, mental activity that requires self-control is impaired. In other words, using one's self-control impairs the ability to control one's self later on." So to say, that mental energy or 'will power' is an exhaustible resource. Like a commodity, finite quantity of which we commence our morning and have to make do with through the day, lest we collapse even before the moon winks at us. Its stock tends to vary with the person's belief in their own reserve of this power, but limited it is.

If we join these two, we might as well get a perfect sphere. Suddenly, daily universal snippets like impulse buying, snapping at a friend without his/her fault, the decision of deciding a place for dinner outside weighing as heavily on our mind as an algebraic equation, "Whatever you decide man, i'm cool", etc. start acquiring a basis.
You see, for every decision we make, we pay a biological price for it. Only a machine is expected to dish out consistently perfect decisions (or solutions/output), ceteris paribus. Each decision we make, consumes a proportionate portion of our mental energy and correspondingly, makes each consequent decision, an uphill, irksome task. Gasping for breath (sometimes literally), our mind starts resorting to shortcuts (to make its life easier) which generally translate into two actions, a fork in the path - either to become brash and heedless OR simply do nothing more and let everything be.

Thanks to our never tiring researchers, we can have a pit stop during these high energy decision making periods - Chocolates. The reasoning is that the sweet dandy will flood your brain with glucose, providing you with a new supply of 'will power' to work from. Studies have also shown to refresh the willpower levels following a small, positive event like a hug from a loved one, a pleasant surprise, etc. It still faces skepticism, but is breather worth considering owing to the other positives attached with such happenings, universally.

Heck, all that typing is making me hazy. I think my Ego is Depleting. Can you lend me some?

The song for tonight, "Truenorth" by 'No Man' is one to lull your mind and save your ego levels...deep breath.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PkDOXuGtB_o

Thursday 8 September 2011

~ Shards ~

The day hangs on to the moment,
the moment lasts a lifetime,
and the day never ends.
--


Deep blue goes my high,
waves rejoice
the sky beams,
at home am I.
--

Tuesday 6 September 2011

Lanka Love - 1





I recently got the chance to be part of RCCC (Royal Challenge Corporate Clash-a-thon). To keep it simple and sweet, it's like a khatron ke khiladi/ The Amazing Race conducted for the Corporates. By sheer luck i got the chance to be part of the Team representing my company. Twas held in Sri Lanka, in a small coastal tourist town called Bentota (west coast), around 70kms from Colombo. So here goes a bit of my tryst with RCCC and the Lanka of Ravan.
Outta the total 20 teams, our team came in 7th while the winners were Morgan Stanley (totally deserved!!), by a long margin and Lanco bagged the 2nd position.
Our team making it to 7th  position was a miracle in itself given that the team was sedated with adrenaline and half the members wanted to be leaders. The funny thing was, whatever Ekta (the other girl in the team) and I suggested wasn’t heeded and only after we wasted a lotta time (most crucial) and energy (second most crucial), did it actually hit em. Of course we were never acknowledged for that. :P
The night we landed, the bus broke down at the airport itself and so I managed to crash in bed only by 3:30am. The hotel (Taj Vivanta) offered a most exotic view and took your breath away every time your eyes grazed the landscape. The beach was like 20m from my room. Absolutely spotless sand with soft waves and nothing else for miles around. And the water too wasn't as salty as most ocean waters.



The first morn, we had breakfast and headed to a Turtle Hatchery in a Tuk-tuk. We learnt, played with tiny baby turtles and observed what beautiful, graceful creatures turtles can be. This too was at the beach and was being run as a Conservation project surviving purely on ticket money and donations. Next we went to a Spice garden. By the sheer smell of it i recognized the Vanilla plant; stimulating! Some people bought stuff from there; after all rare chance to buy condiments in such pure state. Then we went to a huge emporium which sold all local handicrafts, in all sizes. They had some really colourful, elaborate masks, each signifying different types of protection or encouraging positive vibes in the space. Went back, had lunch and then spent the rest of the time rolling and swimming in the sea. Dil khol ke! :D


The first stage was scheduled for that night but coz a bus bringing 50 participants got late, so that was postponed to the next night. So we just chilled, ate, saw some folk dance and went to sleep around 10.
Day 1, Stage 1: it was held in a Tea estate and was a combination of analytical+physical skills. While 2 people had to take care of Commodity Exchange and Trading, the rest had to run/jump/cycle around, find Hubs, perform tasks and get em cash/bonus/stocks. Some people made sure that Ekta’s valuable decisions (she was the only one who knew Trading!) went to waste and we ended up earning 5k less than what was required.

Second stage involved more physical stuff (obstacle course+task performing+light engineering task) and had we been more patient with the rules reading (no one heard me n Ekta on this too of course :P), we might have won this Stage. Once we got the 3 tags, I was running down a slope trying to catch up with Vikram when a small depression came in front of me and I went crash bang boom! Apart from the knees and thighs, got a pretty nasty gash on my right arm, with some white stuff hanging outta it. Not a pretty sight, so lemme not go there. Overall, we did much better in this Stage.

Third Stage was the night task @ 10pm (postponed one) in which we had to make a high scoring Scrabble board, the tiles for which had to be collected through the same running/task performing/etc. Since I was injured and since I was also a Scrabble player, I got to take care of the Board and crack puzzle for additional tiles while the others did the work. Ekta & Sridhar (oldest team member, father of two) reached the Pool where one had to dive in and get a clue. Ekta said I’ll go but Sridhar says no you’re a girl, I’ll go. Then he opens his bag, takes off his tee and vest, wears a swimming tee. Same for the shorts. By the time he took out his swimming goggles, Ekta had dove in and got the clue out. :P :P So much so for the 'race against time'. This stage would have gone really well had the scoring had not been done so haphazardly and hence had to be repeated (all of us came together, hence chaos ensued). Jitin & I had managed a score of 480 but due to the time penalty it got nearly halved. Sob sob.
Day 2, Stage 4: sheer brains. It was a Board game with teams first pitted against each other in a Round Robin round and then moved to the KO quarters. We were the Champs here! Won 4 straight games and sailed into the Quarters. Everyone thought we were gonna nail it and as a result top the charts (it was game turning stage!). Thanks to one of my team members’ complacency and haste, we lost in the first round of Quarters. That was probably the lowest point of our team. Btw, we lost to Morgan Stanley; so at least we lost to the Best team of the tournament. But our team was any day the best in this; impatience strangled us.

Stage Finalement. According to the Race director himself, he had never done anything so grueling in this Race. Ever. The whole course was spread over more than 50 sq.kms. and each Team had to divide emselves into 3 groups – Kayakars, Cyclists & Runners. In our case, we had Vikram+Sridhar running, Aditya+Jitin as cyclists and Ekta+Jatin as Kayakars. Since I couldn’t row (I was the only one who knew rowing) due to my arm and my knee wouldn’t lemme run, I was the puzzle cracker again. So basically I had to accompany the Kayakars in a separate boat and solve the puzzles meanwhile. Brilliant backwaters I got to see. It was a bit like Sunderban. And only a week back i was mentioning to someone that i really wish to see em. :D
The runners had to cover around 6kms one way, cyclists 15kms and kayakars around 45mins of kayaking one way. Thankfully it was all on Circuit timing, so what your rest of the team mates did, didn’t matter too much. Once we returned, we had to submit our completed puzzle, get equipment in return, make something outta it and cross the finish line. Aditya’s cycle’s chain broke down and the brilliance that our team had shown in the other two, was all nullified. All in all, we waited for an hour for Aditya to reach and we were the last ones to cross the Finish line. :P :P

Phewwww!! I don’t even know if you survived the above. But overall, I had the most exhilirating time!! There’s nothing like watching silvery waves rolling under a moon shining down on the ocean and clouds and stars covering the rest  of the firmament. :) :) And I really liked the country too. NEAT, organized, so peaceful, gentle helpful people, old vintage cars, pretty houses…a life worth relishing. :) :) :)
More on that later, for now kick back and rest your head on your folded arms while i play for you: 'Happy Together' by Turtles..."you and me and me and you".. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTvhWVTwRnM