Aham Brahmasmi.

Whenever, probably the most discussed, pulverized, abused, misdubbed, exploited, contentious, duped and ragged to death question is set in front of me to negotiate, my favourite and perhaps now regular reply is - Aham Brahmasmi. Oh and the question, for those who are still groping for it, is - "Do you believe in God?" OR "What do you think about God?"

Eons have passed and many more will also not suffice, perhaps, to satiate our quest. Maybe, forever also might not be enough. I, and my take on it, will probably figure as a sand of grain in the vast ocean of things thought, spoken and done on this. It's like a mirage perhaps, with no end, no tangibility and no knowing which is an illusion and which not (if at all that should be important to us). Which further reminds of something that Morpheus said in the movie Matrix -“What is Real? How do you define Real? If you are talking about your Senses, what you feel, taste, smell or see, then all you are talking about are electrical signals interpreted by your brain.”

So, Aham Brahmasmi. To put it in an equation:

Aham (I) + Brahmasmi (am Brahman i.e. Universe) = Aham Brahmasmi (I am Universe/God)

(note: Brahman not to be confused with a type of Hindu Caste)

Its origin is traced to the fourth Veda, the Yajur Veda, and is hailed as its Mahakavya ("the great saying" or basically the foundational essense of the particular Veda. All 4 have one of their own). The Aham, of course, refers to the Self, the Being. While the Brahman refers to this singular reality which is omnipotent, impersonal, transcendent, omnipresent. All that is, is contained within this Brahman. You, me, them, water, stone, anger, love, cookies and iPads. It is the Supreme Being which contains us all and is formed by us all. I'd quote here a line from Sankara's Brahmasutra Bhashya which goes like this:

"Jivo brahmaiva na parah."

Brahman (Whole) is the only truth, the world is an illusion, and there is ultimately no difference between the Brahman and individual self (Atman).

The Brahman is the primordial and the ultimate reality. To move forward and beyond the literal meaning (which btw, is in itself all too powerful and if you read it and speak it with your Being, you needn't be given further explanations), this nuclear Mantra is a Nova which forgets to reduce back to its brightness. 

For me, this has been the most powerful and resonating thought. Not with my mind, but with my conscious, my Being, my spirit. All of us, all that we are right now through our actions, inactions, thoughts, expressions constitute God. We are God and God is. What stunning simplicity! It gives all the Power in the world back in my hands. All the love. All the choices. All that Is. Nothing else remains, outside of us, it's all within us.

It is an experience of 'I am-ness' - something which i shall delve upon in later blogs. For now i close it here.

For those really in the mood to continue with this post, you can listen to the only song which i know in mainstream film making, which mentions and talks about Aham Brahmasmi - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVynNDtvR9Q
For the rest, a song which has really not stopped playing in my head since i heard it, hope you enjoy the serenading and the littleness of music it plays with. "Rolling in the Deep", the cover by Linkin Park..(sing along, it feels even better!) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHtwZ07N1ic

A pinch of fairy dust..

The rays of an early morning winter sun seeped through the musty glass as the cacophony of a boisterous grade 7 classroom surrounded us; but me and my friend chatted obliviously, as usual. I tapped the person sitting in front for some water, who turned out to be a classmate from grade 9. I wavered a bit and went back to yapping. In a few seconds, a bunch of 3 people walked into a now hushed classroom and stood, smiling at me. I froze. My mind did a big flip as i realized that not only were those 3 people known to me in different periods of my life (entirely unrelated to each other) but also seemed to have not grown older at all since i last saw them...
My friend next to me, got up and walked to meet them like an old known person. I flipped again. How, how could this ever be? Am I in Harry Potter's world?? This just aint possible!! Unless... it's a dream.
And that's how i had chanced upon my first Lucid Dream.


Many a moons have shone since i had this dream but it was only more than 2 years back that i stumbled upon the term Lucid dreaming and realized that there's much to it than i thought. Lucid dreaming refers to dreaming with the awareness that one is dreaming or is part of a dream. It can either be:


1) DILD (Dream Initiated Lucid Dream) - it kicks off like any other dream and somewhere along the line the dreamer realizes that it's a dream.
2) WILD (Wake Initiated Lucid Dream) - when the dreamer passes directly from a conscious waking state to a dream one without any apparent blip in consciousness or memory.


So far, i've experienced only the former; and many times over. Once the awareness sinks in, you're the master of your dream. Initially, the realization is immediately followed by waking up. But with practice, you become comfortable with it and continue with the dream, albeit with much more control and consciousness. That however, varies with the level of lucidity. Higher the level, more you aware are you that it's a dream and nothing that happens in it can touch/affect/harm you physically. It's important to understand that Lucid dreaming isn't the same as Dream control. You may control without being lucid and you may have little control even being highly lucid. Although, both are intricately complementary.

My first thought on learning about this was Whoaaaaaa. This means i can sleep my life away dreaming the most amazing, exhilarating things ever! Where's the quilt, i've gotta sleep right now! Alas, i faced a biological barricade that any one of will face - a limited amount of REM sleep. So much so for discovering my life's vocation.
I told my friend about it and his question flabbergasted me for a second, unable to believe the rationality he was seeking in such an invigorating activity - That's nice. But what's the use? What good will it do me? That sent me back to finding out more (i've to admit, not to gain knowledge but to convince him about the novelty of this). And this is what i dug up on its potential benefits/uses:


1) Adventure/fantasy - hardy harr harr! Go ahead, be the Pirate you've always             longed to be. Or be the superhero who saves the day. Take your pick.
2) Rehearsal - perfect that tennis swing. Or better that ballet jump to a 10/10.
3) Overcoming phobias - shatter your (recurring) nightmares or face up to your fear of heights by jumping off a cliff without a bottom.
4) Healing - using positive imagery to meliorate old nagging injuries/handicaps, physical or mental.
5) Creativity/problem solving - the unconstrained, unprejudiced state allows you to see beyond the usual and barrage through that artist's block you've been facing.
6) Transcendence - experiencing states so exalted, so surreal that one is forced to ponder over what's real and what's not or if there's a difference at all.


The explanation for all of the above is the finding that brain activity during the dream state is same as during a waking or actual activity one; anything you learn or practice in this state is similar to the preparation and effort you exert in the waking world (sans the physical/emotional/mental stress or unpleasant circumstances!). You focus neatly and only on what you want. Your neural patterns are being conditioned and established. All sensory input and noise is muted allowing you to unfurl your imagination.


And now if you'll excuse me please, i need to dream into getting my name published in the Guinness Records for running the most random, yet most read blog ever. Meanwhile dig in your hand into your bag of dreams and sprinkle some fairy dust above and around - dream on(literally)! :D


When i sat down to burn this post, the following poem floated into my mind and here it is. The poet is Edgar Allan Poe and he gifted it to the world in 1849.


Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Spring cleaned Spirit

I've always been an ardent enthusiast for spring cleaning. Blame it on my perfectly perfectionist mother about whom her friends joke that she dusts the store room itself. Or you could say my eyes feast on the radiance and clarity that surface as a consequence of the process. But if i really prod myself, it's the rediscovery of things which had gone amiss from my conscious memory, lying in an ignored crevice and re-affiliation with those which i had lost my touch with - that's what drives me towards this activity.

In a strangely unprepared manner, last week, i found myself spring cleaning again. Not my cupboards or old boxes or chestnut drawers; but myself. A company-organized yoga class i'd joined had Catharsis as one of its sessions. Catharsis, a Greek word, literally translates to "cleansing" or "purging". In a broader, more contemporary and contextual sense it is understood to be "the discharge of affects connected to traumatic events that had previously been repressed by bringing these events back into consciousness and re-experiencing them" (American Psychological Association, 2007).

To put it to a kid, it's the process through which old, suppressed 'monsters' are brought back to the surface - so that they may be faced and hence overcome (i truly believe that the only way to defeat fear is to face it right in the eyes). The premise goes this way: we all exercise a certain control mechanism on ourselves, to acquire social acceptance (blend in with the crowd), almost all the time. The degree and forms of which could vary according to your upbringing, (social) culture, immediate circumstances, personal belief, etc. But the mechanism is never at rest. Apart from making enabling us to tolerate each other more easily, what this does is create a lot of suppressed emotions/thoughts/affects. Since these are not vented out, they twist and turn inside us and finally settle in our unconscious levels; where they act like the stagnant grime which does no good and only occupies space which could be taken up by something healthier and more useful.

Catharsis seeks to confuse or break this mechanism, using various techniques or ways. Once the sluice gates open, the suppressed waters burst forth with manic energy - uncontrollable, invincible. After the flood subsides, a most beautiful calm ensues. Your spirits re-breathes deeply and is re surged with fresh, vital energy. Some of the techniques used for Catharsis are:

- running/jumping/any other physical exertion

- screaming/shouting (primal shout)

- talking non-stop

- dancing

- journaling

- watching emotionally intense movies/acts/dramas (an example of Mass/Collective Catharsis)

The flood, that is the discharge that follows, is generally interpreted in the following ways:

1. Grief - crying/sobbing

2. Fear - trembling, cold perspiration

3. Anger - high pitch sounds, storming movements

4. Embarrassment - uninhibited laughter

5. Disgust - physical nausea

6. Physical fatigue - yawning, stretching

7. Guilt and shame - tears, sobbing, laughter

The realization for me was that many of us Catharsize ourselves in any of the aforementioned ways or otherwise; we just never named it. That makes it all the essential that we try and attempt it, regularly and as way to release the unfaced, the forgotten, the trapped. Spring clean yourself and fill up that space with verve, life and light.

Peace to all. Tonight's song is one to be enjoyed over the weekend, but i couldn't restrain from sharing it, so here it goes: "the lazy song" by Bruno Mars... :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLexgOxsZu0&ob=av2n

Collective Suicide Bombing

Anger. Resentment. Greed. Hatred. Frustration. Helplessness. Ego.
All of the above and other of their ilk survive only within our bodies. The more we feed them, the more they grow. Fantastic breeding grounds we make.

But the moment we choose to spit them out of our systems, they perish. As if the very touch of air strangles them. That's because the world, as it started and is in essence, doesn't want them. The expanse of the world outside of our bodies and minds, doesn't allow those environments to ferment which can serve as their habitats. Nature understands, they must not be alive.

Look around you, nature abounds in forms so myriad that the sheer magnitude could defeat our puny existence. Each entity glows with a natural sheen, which bubbles forth with perennial energy. When does this wither? In our company. Each one of us, a suicide bomber. And when we come together, catastrophe.
We have begun to teem with such caustic negativity, that even the potent, eternal vibrancy that is inherent in our very existence and everything around us, is wilting now.

Turn inside, the world within knows it too. Yet these scorned energies continue to enjoy a parasitic relationship with almost each one of us. Yet they grow. Yet we're eaten up.
Are we really that weak?

A lullaby which talks about things not so lullaby-ish, that's the song for tonight. 'No surprises' by Radiohead.


A heart that's full up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal

You look so tired and unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take a quiet life
A handshake of carbon monoxide

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent

This is my final fit, my final bellyache with

No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises please

Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden

No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises (let me out of here)
No alarms and no surprises please (let me out of here)...

the Constellation within

On such a clear sky,
when the stars pierce through you
join the dots, discover the pattern
and see where the arrow points to.

The secrets are all here
so are all the answers,
Let the pull work on you
and take the dive deep under.

It's the escape, it's the destination
The differences are but our own creations.
Unleash!

Tonight's melody is from the Swell Season. A slow number that tugs at your quieter dynamics - Papercup:


Paper cup
Ain't got no worries
Got no
Got no dog in this fight
Paper plane
Take this note straight to her if her heart's still in the fight

Maybe time will decide
This restless spirit can't survive on breadcrumb trails no more

Paper saint
Will you hear her when she calls
You got no dog in this fight
Paper bird
Take this offering from her hands
This simple trail back to the light

Maybe time will provide
Give you the strength to decide
I hope it's not too late

Maybe time will decide
This restless spirit can't survive one breadcrumb trails no more

Maybe time will provide
Give you the strength to decide
You know it's not too late

Paper cup
Ain't got no worries
Got no
Got no dog in this fight...

So for tonight..

So for tonight,
count all the good that you have and rest it on your shoulder.

For tonight,
gather your regrets and let the mist cover them forever.

For tonight,
be the kid who believes in magic and carry it in your eyes.

For tonight,
sing your own song and let it be your theme for tomorrow and after.

So for tonight,
let's abandon and be.

The song for this night, before it swallows us in it's peace, is Thistle and weeds by Mumford and Sons. Play it on repeat, the voice won't leave you. Peace out. :)


Spare me your judgements and spare me your dreams,
Cause recently mine have been tearing my seams,
I sit alone in this winter clarity which clouds my mind,
Alone in the wind and the rain you left me,
It's getting dark darling, too dark to see,
And I'm on my knees, and your faith in shreds, it seems.

Corrupted by the simple sniff of riches blown,
I know you have felt much more love than you've shown,
And I'm on my knees and the water creeps to my chest.

But plant your hope with good seeds,
Don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds,
Rain down, rain down on me,
Look over your hills and be still,
The sky above us shoots to kill,
Rain down, rain down on me.

But I will hold on
I will hold on hope

I begged you to hear me, there's more than flesh and bones,
Let the dead bury their dead, they will come out in droves,
But take the spade from my hands and fill in the holes, you've made.

But plant your hope with good seeds,
Don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds,
Rain down, rain down on me.

~ Shards ~

Shards shall be a compilation of words that went astray, poems and thoughts which went unfinished like uncut diamonds, like the lonely leaf which flies away from its tree, like the beads bounding away from a broken pearl necklace, like the Shards of glass; each glistening and complete in its own imperfect beauty.

I've met her at dusk

and seen her at dawn,

she reveals, but

only to those who consider her own.

- Sumit Narang

She whispers the words to the winds,
and the sands repeat the same.
But it's all a despairing vastness to 'em
and the melody remains unsung, plain.
- yours truly


The human cacophony weaves through my quiescence, plummets me into the pit of conscious and suddenly, i flow free; anywhere.
- me again

Aleph

So what brings me here? Giving in to the hazy lethargy of this weather i could simply get away with saying stuff like, "Had nothing better to do", "Everybody is doing it (bleh! How i hate this statement)", etc. Or as some of the readers, already familiar with me and my ways, might be thinking, "Oh boy! As if those nonsensical, distorted texts weren't enough." But the reason, my unwilling sufferers, lies somewhere else.


My presence here is the coagulation of interspersed events - events so minuscule that you might want to curse my rather sharp memory. For the sake of maintaining sanity of all, i shall not delve into those events. And now that we have lasted a while here, let us begin. :D


For those wondering, the title of this post is the First letter (hence the title) of Phoenician (a descendant of Proto-Canaanite language) and also happens to be the Title of Paulo Coelho's latest (highly anticipated) book, soon to be found at a bookstore near you. I love words from ancient languages. They always carry a deep sense of mystery, wisdom as well as tenderness. Each with their own story, which can reveal volumes about where we come from. This Phoenician letter fathered the Greek 'Alpha', which i presume all of us are familiar with. Reminds me of a funny story behind how the word 'Jugni' came into being, but i shall shelve that for later tortures.


Since this is my first attempt, let me simply explain the line at the bottom of my blog's name (i know, i know. Ive cheesed off certain persons with the umpteenth repetition of the words contained in the name. Kya karein yaar, control hi ni hunda :P).
Abolishment is what I've set for. Abolishment of this 'I' and 'me' of this Being i've been endowed with. There's a need to be Conscious and to distill each thought, feeling, belief, word, action-interaction-reaction and non-action. It's a quest to rise. Rise above the clutches of this wanton Ego that grips my potential and my consciousness. I can literally visualize the whole process and the very thought ensures a peaceful sleep for me tonight. Makes me wonder how many have actually made it to this line. Oh well, at least i contributed to a blissful sleep for someone. Aspects and implications of this pilgrimage will be taken up by me in later posts.


I shall leave for tonight with lyrics of a song by Jet, an Australian rock band, titled 'Look what you've done', Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite. :)


"Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone..."