Silence or noise?

When i was somewhere near finishing the first draft of this sketch, i was reminded of that scene from the movie Dil Chahta Hai (oh how i just adore that one!!), where Sid (Akshaye Khanna) shows his work to Tara (Dimple Kapadia) and she, while half wondering to herself, observes certain particularities about each canvas, one of which is about this man's eyes in one, "Inn band aankhon ke peeche kya chuppa hai, kaun jaanta hai?"
Funny how certain things remain dormant inside us and then flash across our minds so vividly that the time lapse seems to pale. How events scattered so randomly across time and space, with no obvious relations as such, suddenly click, fall in place and seem like long lost brothers (or sisters, for the feminists) meeting again.

I firmly believe that our minds don't miss a thing. Not even the whisper of the walls. How aware we are of that data mine, lies proportionately to how much in tune we are with our own selves. Do we focus on the noise or the silence? And when an adequately aware event of past collides with one happening right here, boom!
How often does that happen with you? And it's not strictly deja vu that i'm talking about, of which i've had eerily high number of instances.
And needless to say, closed eyes intrigue me as much they do when light filters through them.


Tonight i leave you with a classic, Billy Joel's signature song, which never ever fails to enthrall me. I'm sure it won't disappoint you either. Mind you, it's a bit long and you can only do justice to it if you quit everything else that you're doing and close your eyes (ahaa!) and let the words carry you away. Ladies and gentleman, the Piano Man...


It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The Regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Makin' love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son, can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes.


Sing us a song, you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feelin' alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place.


Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinkin' alone

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"
Sing us a song you're the piano man 
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody 
And you got us feeling alright..."

Life-Lines.

"I think it's important to be irreverent and make a point of not meeting other people's expectations."
- Natalie Portman


"There's no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."
- Chris McCandless


"Along the way, education is trampled by degrees, work compromised by ambitions, love wasted by priorities, spirituality by religion and every philosophy of life laid barren by a paucity of insight."
- Aseembhai

Where the Road took me - 1

I pinched myself. Ou...oh boy!! I really was traveling; all on my own! I'd always dreamed of setting off on my own, in a roadways bus, with nothing familiar in sight. And whatever was, blurring away quite speedily.
And here i was. After saying bye bye to Bimaroo and a senti call to Naazuk kali (and of course assuring my Maa that i was sitting in the right bus), i was leading the CTU bus to Ambala at full throttle. There's something about being a passenger in a Roadways bus. The simple rawness of the situation rips off all the undue and superficial layers which tend to gather over us over time. The harsh thrumming of the engine wraps the passenger lot in a cocoon of white noise which nothing can trespass. And the stares on spotting a 'shehri ladki', go without saying i'd think. (No i didn't go and sit with a woman. I simply sat where i wanted to. My stare was enough to smolder the rest.)


Reached Ambala Cantt station in a dire need of washroom, which was met with a women's public toilet WITHOUT a door. The woman in-charge there failed to comprehend the spot i was in. "Arre yahan kaunsa koi mard hai, chale jao." So i did my stuff very quickly and fled.

I boarded the train to hear a small kid pestering his mom querying about the filming on the a/c bogey's windows. I rescued the now irked mother by telling the kid that they were the 'train's sunglasses'. That seemed to end his curiosity. The sojourn to Haridwar went smooth and cool. The scenic landscapes of warm yellow and mellowed green lifted my spirit and set the tone i needed for the trip.

My reading of the American's sly atrocities on the world (Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. A must-read), was punctuated by sweet talks of the too-much-in-love couple next to me; the details of which i shall choose not to disclose.

Haridwar greeted me with an onslaught of hot winds and a merciless sun. Quite an unwelcoming weather and i wondered why and how so many devotees visit this place in this season. Waited for around 20mins at the bus stand while watching people coming down from upper reaches covered in such heavy woollens that i broke into a shiver. A funny thing i saw there was vendors selling cucumbers, all peeled and cut into long pieces, ready-to-eat serving. Never seen it like that before!

The bus was a medium-sized one and again i led from the front (seat). The chhoras were fukras who were trying to impress the 'shehri ladki', which was soon thwarted by 'the look' from moi. After around 2hours in the breadbox, i touched Kotdwar; where my hosts were waiting for me in their car.

The drive to Lansdowne was a fast ascension with the air turning cooler at every turn. One goes from 650m above the sea level, to 1710m in less than an hour. But the road has been laid in such a way that the textbook symptoms of altitude sickness lurk nowhere. Twas the first time i was seeing mountains awashed washed in hues of spring and my eyes just didn't want to blink. It gives a sweet joy to spot a burst of orange here and purple there across the green landscape. Little did i know, that this was just a trailer.
Lansdowne and beyond, i shall leave that for more upcoming lazy afternoons. I leave with a song which encapsulates my state throughout this trip. It's a song by John Denver, titled 'Looking for space'.


On the road of experience, I'm trying to find my own way.
Sometimes I wish that I could fly away
When I think that I'm moving, suddently things stand still
I'm afraid 'cause I think they always will

And I'm looking for space
And to find out who I am
And I'm looking to know and understand
It's a sweet, sweet dream
Sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle
And sometimes I'm deep in despair

All alone in the universe, sometimes that's how it seems
I get lost in the sadness and the screams
Then I look in the center, suddently everything's clear
I find myself in the sunshine and my dreams


On the road of experience, join in the living day
if there's an answer, it's just that it's just that way

When you're looking for space
And to find out who you are
When you're looking to try and reach the stars
It's a sweet, sweet sweet dream
Sometimes I'm almost there
Sometimes I fly like an eagle
But sometimes I'm deep in despair
Sometimes I fly like an eagle,
like an eagle
I go flying flying.. :D