A lesson in Gratitude

As its eyelids started drooping, the day’s garish eye was beginning to mellow. I had just stepped out, my camera in tow, for my date with the evening. The sky’s royal hue was inviting and the breeze was starting to rustle the leaves slightly. My feet picked up pace and I was approaching the near 90-degrees bend in the street. The tea vendor’s stall on wheels stood at the corner surrounded with its usual, not so well-off crowd.

As I was just nearing the strong aromas of crushed tea leaves in bubbling liquid, my eyes came upon a middle-aged man in tattered clothes and a filthy hat covering a matt of unwashed, dusty hair.  Slow, non-deliberate movements and an eery sense of detachment from the immediate, surrounded him. I saw his hand reach into his pocket and suddenly out spilt his clutch of money. Coins ran and settled in spots across the road and two or three currency notes fell down, with a pace tad slower. I picked up whatever I saw and gave it to him. He gave me a sweet smile in return and softly thanked me.

Meanwhile, a bunch of 3 teenage boys found the whole thing quite amusing and started joking and laughing at the man’s expense. The man towards ‘em and what he did next stunned me. He went to them, smiled broadly and said, in broken English, something to this effect – “Thank you…thank you. At least someone noticed me. I am a forgotten person. No one sees or hears. I’m happy you see me. Thank you!” The boys went quiet; an uneasy guilt lurked in their eyes. The import of his words hit me too and i just stood looking at the man as he gave em one last smile, joined his hands and started to leave.

I had so much, yet had so little. I had so little, yet it never seemed to end.

The tea vendor said something in Kannada and offered a cup of tea to the man. He accepted it graciously, said another thank you and melted into the growing darkness. The forgotten person I’ll never forget…

The song for today is a one i've heard recently and something about the ticky, slow music makes me wanna go back to it over and over - "House of cards" by Radiohead... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nTFjVm9sTQ

The Head-stand

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;

There is a rapture on the lonely shore;

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar;

I love not man the less, but Nature more...

- Lord Byron

"I am Super Tramp..(looks at the apple)..and you are Super Apple!"

"Mr. Franz, I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one."

"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greather joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun."

- Christopher McCandless a.k.a. Alexander Supertramp

A man whose story made my life do a head-stand; and never feel like going back on my feet. I remember ever so clear, the night i finished reading about Mr. McCandless, i was ready to stuff my bag with a few necessities and whatever cash i had saved and stashed somewhere, and leave. Just leave. Where? No one knew. The world was out there and i had to savour it before it was too long. It took my friends' 'rational pleading' and persuasion that my time would come (:P) that i decided that perhaps tonight could be spent in a quilt. After that, many less nights were spent akin. And i can safely say, most days too.

Thank you Chris, the head-stand is more alive, more raw, more everything. I hope you smile wherever you are. "Happiness is only true when shared.." :)

Songs for tonight, two songs from the motion picture on the man's life - Into the wild. One, is the first song i heard and the opening piece of music gives me goosebumps till date; "Hard sun". The other is the one which never, ever ceases to make me fall back and look around once - what are we thinking? Are we even aware? "Society" in Eddie Vedder's unfaltering, haunting voice..plunge yourselves, the night is long and uncluttered.. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpkeJWXY4ZA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGKVpTRe8GM

~ Shards ~

"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears."
- Les Brown


"Sometimes we love with something more than hope. Sometimes we cry with everything except our tears. In the end that's all there is - love and its duty, sorrow and its truth; to hold on to tight, until the dawn."
- shared by Raghav Jain


"With the sun on my face and the wind beneath my feet, autumn outside and spring inside me..
i step out looking for life; instead life finds me."
- c'est moi

Song for tonight, "Dust in the wind" by an old, 70s American Rock band - Kansas..immerse...


I close my eyes
only for a moment
and the moment's gone
all my dreams
pass before my eyes a curiosity
dust in the wind
all we are is dust in the wind

Same old song
just a drop of water
in the endless sea
all we do
crumbles to the ground
though we refuse to see
dust in the wind
all we are is dust in the wind

Now, don't hang on
nothing lasts forever
but the earth and sky
it slips away

And all your money
won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind
all we are is dust in the wind
dust in the wind
everything is dust in the wind...

The Nameless Friend

I trudge; heavy, eroded
Depleted, i collapse in your lap.
My universe is spasming,
but my screams are muted.
My universe is saturated,
but my spirit is empty.


Your Sister wraps me
her embrace ever so tender,
Your Mother cradles me
leaving nothing to render.
Your warm Hearth,
thaws the winter in  me.
Your vibrant Children
infuse deep their glee.


Ever so often
i come to your shrine,
bereft of any token.
Ever so often
i deposit my fears,
my grace, my mojo - woken.

These lines stem out of my immense, bottomless love for Nature and in this case, for its soldiers, the Trees. I happened to visit Cubbon Park, which lies in the heart of Bangalore. Each tree was like a painting, poetry frozen in forms so graceful, so stunning, so moving. Trees are considered sacred and still worshiped in parts across the globe. Their groves are our oldest temples. They hold within themselves eons old wisdom. The stories of Tree Spirits (a type nature spirit) are all too familiar for any of us who've read fantasy. I don't think it's fantasy, i believe they exist. An ethereal existence visible only to the intangible senses. Trees are my nameless friends; best part - they can't escape me no matter what crap i share with 'em. Hehe!

"If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day, he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.  But if he spends his days as a speculator, shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time, he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen." So resounded Henry David Thoreau. Aye, couldn't get closer to truth.

There are two hindi film songs which never fail to get back that skip in my step, never fail to resurrect my mood. One of which i share here with you tonight.. "Kholo kholo" from the movie Taare zameen par. Open up! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GBx8NHW5Bw

A pinch of fairy dust..

The rays of an early morning winter sun seeped through the musty glass as the cacophony of a boisterous grade 7 classroom surrounded us; but me and my friend chatted obliviously, as usual. I tapped the person sitting in front for some water, who turned out to be a classmate from grade 9. I wavered a bit and went back to yapping. In a few seconds, a bunch of 3 people walked into a now hushed classroom and stood, smiling at me. I froze. My mind did a big flip as i realized that not only were those 3 people known to me in different periods of my life (entirely unrelated to each other) but also seemed to have not grown older at all since i last saw them...
My friend next to me, got up and walked to meet them like an old known person. I flipped again. How, how could this ever be? Am I in Harry Potter's world?? This just aint possible!! Unless... it's a dream.
And that's how i had chanced upon my first Lucid Dream.


Many a moons have shone since i had this dream but it was only more than 2 years back that i stumbled upon the term Lucid dreaming and realized that there's much to it than i thought. Lucid dreaming refers to dreaming with the awareness that one is dreaming or is part of a dream. It can either be:


1) DILD (Dream Initiated Lucid Dream) - it kicks off like any other dream and somewhere along the line the dreamer realizes that it's a dream.
2) WILD (Wake Initiated Lucid Dream) - when the dreamer passes directly from a conscious waking state to a dream one without any apparent blip in consciousness or memory.


So far, i've experienced only the former; and many times over. Once the awareness sinks in, you're the master of your dream. Initially, the realization is immediately followed by waking up. But with practice, you become comfortable with it and continue with the dream, albeit with much more control and consciousness. That however, varies with the level of lucidity. Higher the level, more you aware are you that it's a dream and nothing that happens in it can touch/affect/harm you physically. It's important to understand that Lucid dreaming isn't the same as Dream control. You may control without being lucid and you may have little control even being highly lucid. Although, both are intricately complementary.

My first thought on learning about this was Whoaaaaaa. This means i can sleep my life away dreaming the most amazing, exhilarating things ever! Where's the quilt, i've gotta sleep right now! Alas, i faced a biological barricade that any one of will face - a limited amount of REM sleep. So much so for discovering my life's vocation.
I told my friend about it and his question flabbergasted me for a second, unable to believe the rationality he was seeking in such an invigorating activity - That's nice. But what's the use? What good will it do me? That sent me back to finding out more (i've to admit, not to gain knowledge but to convince him about the novelty of this). And this is what i dug up on its potential benefits/uses:


1) Adventure/fantasy - hardy harr harr! Go ahead, be the Pirate you've always             longed to be. Or be the superhero who saves the day. Take your pick.
2) Rehearsal - perfect that tennis swing. Or better that ballet jump to a 10/10.
3) Overcoming phobias - shatter your (recurring) nightmares or face up to your fear of heights by jumping off a cliff without a bottom.
4) Healing - using positive imagery to meliorate old nagging injuries/handicaps, physical or mental.
5) Creativity/problem solving - the unconstrained, unprejudiced state allows you to see beyond the usual and barrage through that artist's block you've been facing.
6) Transcendence - experiencing states so exalted, so surreal that one is forced to ponder over what's real and what's not or if there's a difference at all.


The explanation for all of the above is the finding that brain activity during the dream state is same as during a waking or actual activity one; anything you learn or practice in this state is similar to the preparation and effort you exert in the waking world (sans the physical/emotional/mental stress or unpleasant circumstances!). You focus neatly and only on what you want. Your neural patterns are being conditioned and established. All sensory input and noise is muted allowing you to unfurl your imagination.


And now if you'll excuse me please, i need to dream into getting my name published in the Guinness Records for running the most random, yet most read blog ever. Meanwhile dig in your hand into your bag of dreams and sprinkle some fairy dust above and around - dream on(literally)! :D


When i sat down to burn this post, the following poem floated into my mind and here it is. The poet is Edgar Allan Poe and he gifted it to the world in 1849.


Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?